That’s your Lanžhot

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Student: What are you doing this weekend?

Craggy: Going to Lanžhot.

Student: Why? There is nothing there.

Oh, how wrong could you be…

Last time my student and I had this very same conversation was about a forthcoming trip to the Slovak town of Myjava. That time he had been right, but our next trip was to be a completely different experience. One of the best things about a new season in the 4th tier of Czech football is anticipating the new arrivals to the league. This gives us the opportunity to go boldly in to the unknown; and in to pubs that others dare not tread. One such opportunity came early this year as Blansko’s second game of the season was away to Lanžhot, a small town resting on the Slovak border, and a reasonable walk away from everyone’s favourite train interchange of Břeclav.

We arrived in Břeclav with the summer sun rising slowly above us. Slightly disoriented from the heat of the train carriage we walked in circles before finding ourselves somewhat fortuitously on a dusty old trail heading in to the forest nearby.

It was not long before we came to an old looking pub sitting idly by the path. Normally, we go busting into any pub we see, no questions asked, but there was a sleepy stillness resting over this one despite the chalkboards being placed outside. We rang an old, bronze bell that hung in the doorway, but no one answered. We could hear murmurings somewhere from an open window and so paced around the pub earnestly, but delicately. We rang once more and finally a woman came down to greet us, bidding us inside and asking, cheerfully ‘can you not see we’re open?’.

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We sat inside the old wooden hut with a cold lager and drank happily with the landlady, before saying our goodbyes and heading back on to the road and deeper in to the forest. For a little while the road was quiet and the air still, but after some time we could see a few people up ahead and what turned out to be the archaeological site at Pohansko.

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From there we came across the first of several bunkers placed among the trees (just some of the many that were constructed between the wars by the Czechoslovak government due to the prospect of invasion). Before us was an large expansive, dry field leading up to early 19th century castle of Pohansko. This area offers up even more archaeological sites, revealing sections of the early medieval site that was situated here in the 9th century, and which was one the largest medieval strongholds in central Europe.

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The Pohansko Castle itself sits majestically at the top of the field, with it’s light-coloured walls shining brightly on a sunny afternoon. Luckily for us it also has at least three bars which you can swiftly grab a beer in a plastic cup to accompany you for the next part of the walk. We took a moment for a couple of photos before heading even further in to the forest.

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One thing that soon struck us was that some of the most recognisable trees here are given characters. Signs are posted in front of several, detailing their given names and characteristics. A nice touch we thought.

Out in the open, before dehydration took us and left us dead among the sunflower fields, we made it in to the small town of Lanžhot. Before us, like a mirage through fading eyes, was a pub, decorated in the flowery blue motifs familiar to this part of the world. We entered in search of sustenance.

Landlord: Can’t you read?

Ralph: Sorry?

Landlord: Members only. You want to drink. Drink outside.

And thus is the result of the smoking ban. He wasn’t unpleasant. Just rather direct.

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We had our beers and headed to another pub for some fantastic goulash soup. On each table was a plastic fly swatter, just in case you wanted to bash any flies, or your drunk mates. After some soup and some bashing we made our way to the Lanžhot stadium.

Stadion Na Šlajsi, the home of TJ Sokol Lanžhot is one of the biggest in the league, with a main stand and three terraced sides, we were quite excited to see it and by the size of the crowd (690) we weren’t the only ones. The home side were promoted to the 4th tier of Czech football for the first time since 1959, so this was obviously a big day for the locals.

And the crowd contributed so much to the game, cheering on every attack the home side had. It’s so rare that we see such a partizan crowd in the league, that I think both of us enjoyed it.

The first half was of course controlled by us, which is not surprising considering the spine of our team, Dolezel, Mezlik and Buchta have over 400 league games experience between them. However, the clear cut chances were created by Lanzhot. A header just wide and a shot which skimmed the bar were enough to keep the home fans excited and also sent us towards the bar. Half-time 0-0.

The second 45 went much the same as the first, with the home side attacking with purpose, but with no end product and with Blansko continuing to run the midfield, it was no surprise that we finally opened the scoring with 11 minutes remaining through the impressive Dominik Urbančok – who weaved his way between two defenders before hitting home from just inside the box. 1-0 Blansko and game over. We spent the last ten minutes controlling position and offering the Lanzhot no way back. Our second win of the season.

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So a positive and exciting exploration between two towns close to the border was topped off by some thrilling 4th tier football. If ever we needed confirmation of why we do what we do – this was it.

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Blansko put Rosice to Bed(nář)

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Our second home game of the season, saw the return of The Blansko Klobasa’s Chris “Wingy” Wing to the Udolni stadium, Here’s his report on the Rosice home game. Good to have you back Wingy.

New season, new Blansko. There have been big changes at Udolni since last season, especially as the club seem to have got some money from down the back of the sofa. Many familiar faces have gone, or have been relegated to squad members, (and with them a good 60% of our songs). Most difficult to take for TKB was the loss of perennial favourite, Honza Trtílek, who has now moved on to Rosice, whom we were playing next. Now, if we are honest (and we try to be), Honza has not really been firing on all cylinders for quite some time due to some recurrent injury problems holding him back. But sometimes fans are more sentimental than practical, and the change will probably do him some good. We will still miss seeing him playing in Blansko’s colours. Good luck to you, Honza.

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What has made up for the loss of some favourites are the replacements who have come in. In the opening game (which I missed, due to being in Berlin at the time) we hammered Humpolec 5-1, despite going a goal down. The other Klobasas were there, and reported that FKB were in complete control, and never looked like losing. Likewise in the following game, which Ralph and Craggy also saw (me being in Slovakia this time), and resulting in a less emphatic, but still deserved, 1-0 away win at Lanžhot. Now, as regular readers of this blog are aware of, The Klobasa have a soft spot for Rosice. It’s a nice little town to visit (apart from the massive flight of steps linking the station to the main street. But that’s another story…), has a terrific little ground which we are rather jealous of, and some of the best, and the most fanatical home fans you’ll see at this level (although I am assured by the other Klobasas that Lanžhot’s fans were mightily impressive too). It’s actually quite strange really – you get small towns like Rosice and Lanžhot that have fans with passion and enthusiasm, but you also get places which are much bigger, like Vyškov and Přerov, where it’s like watching a game in a public library. I just don’t get it at all.

Our other reason for liking Rosice is that Blansko always seem to do well against them – we seem to reserve some of our most impressive performances for this fixture. And this game was no exception. Rosice were sitting pretty at the top of the league at start of play, having won their previous game 8-1. So, there was a little trepidation as to how this one was going to go. But our doubts were unfounded. Blansko bossed this from the start, playing some very impressive flowing football, and it was no great surprise when we took the lead on 16 minutes. The very impressive Dominik Urbančok picked up the ball about 20 metres out, and hit it arrow-straight into the bottom right corner of the net. (So accurate was it that both Craggy and I let out a little sigh of disappointment, having thought it had just hit the side-netting). And it only took another 6 minutes for the game to be effectively over, as a Blansko corner was blatently handled , with new Captain Fantastic, David Bednař, easily converting the resulting penalty (it’s a mark of how quickly he has been accepted by the Klobasa that he has his own song already). Blansko were now in complete control of the game, with Rosice at a loss how to break down our stalwart back-four, and us looking like we were going to score every time we attacked. Once again, young Dominik Smerda was outstanding on the wing (we are surely not going to be able to hang on to him for too long. He really deserves to be playing at a higher level).Although he was taken off at half-time, presumably because he had taken a knock.

The second half started a little disjointedly, probably as a result of Smerda’s absence, but we soon settled down, and further goals were to come, first from Chloupek, and a second for Bednař, who was without doubt Man of the Match. Another positive sign is a very healthy crowd of nearly 500.All in all, a good day.

So, we retained our 100% start to the season. And thus far we look more than capable of winning this league. Let’s see what the next few weeks bring.

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2017/18 – A Season in Review

We follow Blansko with hope and not expectation, so after relegation from the 3rd tier last season , our hope was more about staying in the league,a number of fine away trips and a few good performances on the pitch. We weren’t disappointed. Pre season saw the departure of much of the squad and our fan friendly manager, Zbynek Zboril. In their place we gained a mixture of youth and experience – bringing a mixed bag of results in the first half of the season. However, what’s guaranteed with Blansko is we like to play football and no matter what the result, the ball was always played on the ground… just not in the net very often. After being on the end of some real tonkings, the new boys seem to settle and produced some great results towards the end of the autumn season.

The spring season saw 4 players come in and the appearance of the most beautiful away kit we have ever seen. We were ever so grateful to the players for chipping in contributing towards the purchase of 14 shirts for various fans of the blog around the world.(Trnava based Matt LostBoyo called it the most comfortable shirt he has ever worn.)

The new kit brought good fortune and an upturn in results.. Safety from relegation guaranteed with 3 games to play. Out of 29 games played, we managed to get to 23 of them and thoroughly enjoyed the majority of matches, apart from Vrchovina and Tisnov away, where we looked truly out of our depth. With it being such a good season we decided to put some of our videos and photos on here for you to enjoy.

Thanks again to the players,staff and supporters for making supporting the team so enjoyable. When we started the blog 4 years ago we never imagined it would turn into a proper love affair.

Our player of the season goes to Jakub Splichal, our captain. In such a difficult season,always a smile on his face and continued to play football the way it should be played.

Young player of the season is Tomas Feik. He just about pips super-talented Dominik Smerda to the award. Feik was brilliant when ever called upon and scored a couple of great goals.

Goal of the season – Well, we could give it to Jiri Kratochvil for his goal against Stare Rise or Jakub Splichal for just the joy we all shared in a his goal against Sumperk which brought a much needed first win in six games, but we are going to give it to Tommy Sodomka for his Messi-esque equaliser against Vrchovina. (link)

Game of the season – Rosice away – great support and is always a battle. We should have won, but we didn’t.

Chant of the season – Well, we are undecided between “Feiking all over the world” and “We’ve got Dommy Smerda” – Personally, I think the Dommy Smerda chant just edges it and as I am writing this….:-)

Away fans – Slovan Rosice are just outstanding supporters… Best in the league. Although, we have asked to give a special mention to the Vrchovina fans too…

Best away trip – Trebic, nice ground, nice town, nice brewery, nice cafe

And that wraps up the season. Dekujeme.

2017: A look back at our top trips

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As the year draws to a close and we hammer mince pie shaped nails in to 2017, we at TBK have decided to go over some highlights from what must have been our most “interesting” year yet. From some of the most remote villages to some of the best beers, via the scrappiest games to the most beautiful castles – we have gone in search of adventures and found them at every turn. So here are some highlights from the last 12 months.

Landek Mine in Petřkovice, Ostrava

We went “mining” for points in Petřkovice and literally ended up in a mine. Attempting to win a well deserved point and pleasant service at the local restauarant proved both to be just as gruelling work. The visit to the mine was a treasure though, as was another trip to Ostrava which always seems to bring about the biggest Klobasa drinking sessions. This was no different. (Read more here)

Budapest – The Musical

TBK love a trip to Budapest anyway but this was a real highlight of 2017. After four hours in the dining car of the train along Ralph’s favourite river we arrived in Budapest to a rollercoaster of a trip which found us queing up for the whole first half of a Honved game for a second 45 minutes of purely forgettable football. And it was all downhill from there (well physcially anyway) as we ran around Hungarian’s capital taking in as many pubs as possible, Craggy getting the come-on from dodgy guys selling belts and being asked if we’d like some cocaine with our sausage. We even dreamt up a musical production. Click here to find the soundtrack – apologies in advance.

The Hunt For Pav the Drummer in Blansko

As far as happy endings go the finale to this trek through the snowy streets of Blansko on the hunt for our missing game-day drummer is right up there. Early in the year we braved 90 minutes of below freezing tempatures watching the mighty Blansko host Bohunice before we went off in search of Pavel, who had been missing for many months from the Blansko stands. Our search took us to several pubs in this industrial Moravian second home of ours before a spectacular conclusion in the final pub we tried.

Milan Pacanda – Lost and Found

Although you may well have never heard of him, Milan Pacanda could have been one of the European greats alongside other famous Czech names. This year he was at Vicemilice, where one third of TBK headed to catch a glimpse of his footballing genius. (Read the full story here).

Opava

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Opava is a nice town in itself but a trip there was extra special this year. We visited it on 17th November – the anniversary of the fall of communism in the Czech Republic, and we began the trip in the small town of Hradec nad Moravaci which has a pretty fancy castle and a great “post office” pub. The highlight though turned out to be the game of the season – Opava came from 1 – 2 down to win 3 – 2, scoring 2 goals in the last 20 minutes. Crackin’.