The Klobasa in Luhacovice
Now, life as a Klobasa is hard work: it takes dedication, patience, an appreciation of the absurd, and most importantly, an iron liver. So it’s no wonder that even we need a little TLC from time to time – and so off we travelled to Luhačovice – in chase of waterfalls.
Luhačovice is a spa-town in the Zlín region of the Czech Republic, and is well know for it’s variety of medicinal waters, popping up from springs dotted around it’s pleasing promenade. We’d heard about the healing qualities of the H2O here, but also about it’s ability to induce projectile vomiting, so we thought we’d do what we do best and line our stomachs with a quick beer (or two) before heading on to the first fountain, positively named ‘Dr Happy’. Well I haven’t consumed anything you could describe by that name since my partying days back in Blighty, so I have to say I was quite excited. One swig of the good stuff though and I instantly discovered why I’d been warned about drinking too much. Luckily, years of vomit-prevention techniques allowed us all to save our embarrassment and step back and watch middle-aged couples from all over dive in to heal themselves of their ailments.
After all agreeing that the heavily-guarded Vincentka (for some reason the most famous of foul tasting waters) was the least horrendous we headed quickly to the train and onwards to Uhersky Brod for the Blansko away game. Before the game we made a quick dash in to town to discover there was a market on, selling plenty of Burcak (young wine) and furry toys squeaking and dying over rubber balls. We supped up some lager, ate some parek (hotdog) and grilled chicken and headed on to the stadium for the game.
The last time the Klobasa were here we agreed that it was one of our least favourite grounds, but it has to be said that this trip was something of an improvement with the klobasa too proving something of a success, served happily with both mustard and the much sort after kren. We were joined this time by a good friend who just so happens to hate football. However, he does like grilled sausage and partook in both a klobasa and it’s more slender cousin, the cigara, making him something of a hero on this trip. After joining in with much chanting and drumming about Blansko’s number 1, David Juran, and failing to sing them past a 1-1 draw we happily staggered towards a burger bar/car wash we visited on our last trip, ‘Rally Grill’, complete with excitingly titled, ‘Moshroom Burger’, on the menu.
Klobasa & Cigara – magic
At the station we parted ways and only two of us remained, finding ourselves once more in a train station bar… somewhere…
Uhersky Brod Stadion
We rode the train to Brno in the company of two Russian girls who had the indignity to say they hated Brno, apparently without much evidence to back up this ignorance. So, naturally we bade their leave at the station and went of in search of more positive entertainment – and it’s here where things started to get a little hazy. We thought we’d drop in on some friends who run the excellent Cafe Flexaret for a chat and drink, before they suggested taking us to a bar we’d never even been to. Great, we thought, we’re always up trying somewhere new! U 7 Svabu (or, U Effiho to the regulars) was an experience to say the least – and one we will definitely be heading back to! A band were set up playing a variety of covers from different genres while this happened to be the opening night of an exhibition themed on the seven deadly sins. Well, the beer and slivovice started to flow and the laughter began to fill the air, when suddenly, despite me pleading in desperation against the fact, I found myself on stage with a guitar round my neck and microphone in my face (cheers guys). After false start with a song of my own and wishing the world would swallow me whole I stopped it all and said ‘fuck it, let’s play some rock ‘n’ roll – in G!’ The band enjoyed it so much we played the same song again in a different key, with the improvised lyrics of ‘I’m so drunk and you don’t even know my name…’ I was kindly reminded of this piece of poetry the following Monday. Must’ve been that water…